The AudreyMerida Scoop
by Elliot Pole
Summary: Audrey has just had a fight with James, and is bummed about not having any friends anymore. Then Merida comes in her life, asking for a ride to the Camden house. But when they arrive there, Audrey acts on a whim by taking Merida to the mall. Things get hazy when fans start suspecting Audrey of wanting something more from Merida than she should expect.


**The Audrey-Merida Scoop**

**Chapter One: The Meeting**

I and James had just had our fight. It was gruesome, and people were watching us, as they always do. At least once I got done in New York, things would be patched up. Hopefully. Or I'd have to wait for a new boyfriend to come along, which I didn't want to do.

I leaned against the hood of my car, not wanting to leave the parking lot. If I had any fingernails left to chew, I might have done so.

"Excuse me, miss."

I turned to see a girl with wild red hair, wearing a green dress.

_Oh no, not another autograph seeker_, I thought.

"Can you help me find a family with the surname…Camden?" she asked.

"The father is the pastor of the local church," I said, glad that was all it was. "I don't attend there, but I can drive you to their house."

"Would you? That would be so kind."

She climbed in the passenger's seat. I was so happy to have someone to talk to who wasn't angry with me.

"What business do you have with the Camdens?" I asked, exiting the school parking lot.

"I need to see the three daughters, Mary, Lucy, and Rutgers, I think I heard their names are."

"What for?"

"A project of mine."

"Involving asking them what it is like living with a minister for a father?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I wish you all the best," I said. Then, seeing a Sonic on the road, I added, "Say, I'm hungry. Would you mind if I stopped for food?"

"That'd be great. I don't have any way to pay you back though."

"No money?"

"I've got money but it's…not current." The girl showed me some gold coins.

"Oh. Foreign money."

"I suppose it is foreign in your country, but where I come from, it isn't."

"You're Scottish, aren't you? You're accent sounds that way."

"I am," the girl said.

We pulled into Sonic. I ordered a cheeseburger and a Sonic Blast with Oreo, then asked the girl what she wanted.

"Do they serve oatmeal here?"

I gave her a look. "I bring you to the best drive-in restaurant there is and you ask for _oatmeal_?"

"Anything with fish, then."

"They don't serve fish here."

"A cheeseburger and a Sonic Blast with Oreo. Is that all?" asked the voice from the machine.

"Tell you what," I said, patting the girl's knee. "I'll order for you." And I ordered a chili cheese dog for her as well as Barq's Root Beer.

When our meal arrived, the girl made a face at her hot dog. "You call this food?"

"I suppose you don't have it in Scotland."

"Not the part of Scotland I'm from, no."

"Well, it's a hot dog."

"Where's the fork?"

"You don't use a fork. You eat it with your hands."

The girl had trouble gripping it with her hands. I demonstrated how it was to be held. "Oh, I see," she said. She took a bite. And another. And another. "This is delicious!" she proclaimed.

"I thought you'd like it."

"But golilee, the flavor and the spice and everything! Though, um…my tongue is starting to burn."

I figured she probably wasn't used to something so spicy. I had always wondered why it was called 'chili,' when it clearly wasn't cold. "Try your root beer. That'll cool your tongue down."

She took a sip. "It tastes strange."

"No root beer in your country either? How queer."

"It's the way things are," the girl said. She drank some more.

"What's your name?" I asked, when I was three quarters of the way through my cheeseburger.

"Oh, did I forget to say? I'm Merida."

"I'm Audrey," I said, extending my hand. She looked as if she didn't know what to do with it. "Never seen a handshake before either?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Just put your hand in mine, and we'll shake."

Merida did so. She found the handshake very strange. "Do people do that a lot here?"

"All the time. It is so odd to meet someone who has never done it before."

We finished eating, and I got back on the road. When we reached the Camden's house, I parked in front of it. Merida opened the door and started to climb out.

"Wait," I called.

"Yes?" she asked, poking her head back in.

"You're not in any hurry, are you?"

"I sort of am. I'm trying to get back home, and the Camdens are the ones who can help me."

"Back home to Scotland? Couldn't you just get a plane ticket?"

"It's not that simple."

"Well, I can bring you back later. Let's go to the mall. I don't have anyone to hang out with anymore, and if you're going back to Scotland…it would be nice to have a little time, you know."

"Well, I suppose…I don't know what a mall is, though."

"A shopping center that people gather at," I said. "My old job is there and everything…we'll avoid that spot, but there are other places to check out."

"I guess it's worth a shot," Merida said, climbing back in.

"Yay!"

On our way out of the Camden's neighborhood, Merida confided in me that she didn't really want to go back home. "I don't know what's waiting for me there," she said.

"Tell me about it. I'm flying to New York in a couple of days, and I don't know what to expect."

"Hope you have fun there. I never heard of that place."

"New York? The Big Apple? Sears Tower? Bloomingdale's? None of that rings a bell?"

Merida shook her head.

"You are one sheltered girl," I said, shaking my head.

We arrived in the mall parking lot and headed for the entrance into J;.C. Penny. I wanted to show Merida some clothes. And bedspreads, oh yes, we must look at bedspreads. One thing I had to be certain of was to steer her as far away from the Scooper Dooper as possible, since James would be working there. I didn't know exactly why I brought her to the mall, but here we were. We could have more fun here than anywhere else. We were too old for Chuck E. Cheese, for example. And I wasn't allowed at concerts. I just hoped that no fangirls would bombard me, asking me for autographs or what-not. But this was a mall…there were plenty of places to hide. Like the B. Dalton bookstore. Fans might chase me around a music store but they wouldn't enter a bookstore. Would they? Well, today I would find out, my new acquaintance Merida from Scotland at my side.


End file.
